Seeing Myself Through Your Eyes

Flashe, acrylic, coloured pencil on loose hanging canvas.

64.50x66"

"I saw the best versions
Of myself
When I stood back
And looked at who I am
And how I show up
And who I could be
Through your eyes.

I liked that you saw me,
As the version of myself I always wanted to be.
I was already Her. When I was with you."
____

About this collection:

An Ode to Joy started out as a goodbye-love-letter and visual homage to the artist’s studio space (that she named Joy), that was built for her by her father and family in 2022. When Tania sold her home and her belongings, and had to say goodbye to her beloved studio in summer 2025, she found herself overcome with conflicting emotions of grief and excitement.

This collection explores the emotional paradox that comes with saying goodbye. Visual expression is motivated by the artist’s extreme emotions of excited anticipation (of what comes next) and the conflicting tendency to catastrophize the future (fear that the next chapter will pale in comparison to the last).

The first two large format works in this collection were created in the studio before the artist left. The colour palettes were determined out of necessity in an attempt to use whatever paint tubes were half empty and not worth packing or moving to the next (unknown) space.

Other works in this collection tell the story of the artist’s (mostly blundered) attempts to experiment with new techniques while she was limited in space and resources, resulting in further catastrophizing as she felt she couldn’t reach her full creative potential without access to her old space and abundance of packed up materials. What resulted during this time is a series of somewhat disjointed works that were borne out of pouring ink onto folded canvas that was nailed to a colleague’s studio wall; and a body of work on small offcuts of canvas that were too large to throw away but felt too small to make for impactful work. The artist includes these experimental pieces in this collection because they visually tell the story of moving through an uncomfortable and awkward creative time of transition and displacement.

In her attempt to capture what nostalgia feels like and reminisce on past memories in her studio, Tania attempts to paint her own figure as it’s projected onto canvas from past videos taken of her in her studio, most notably a documentary called Brushes and Ordeals by Amir Akbari that follows Tania’s life as an aspiring artist for six months in 2024. As video is projected onto canvas, Tania realizes she’s never fully able to render a complete scene or image; a performative commentary on her attempt to hold onto memories that are hazy and intangible at the best of times.

An Ode To Joy is a celebration of new beginnings, an honouring of endings, and a realization that memories are always in motion, changing and fleeting, even if they were “captured” in the past, memories are never fully realized in the present.